Chris Randall: Musician, Writer, User Interface Designer, Inventor, Photographer, Complainer. Not necessarily in that order.
 
August 14, 2005

An ass like BLAM...

by Chris Randall
 
 

Now, this is a good lookin' microphone, make no mistake. LeWilson Microphones also puts them out in green and orange. Don't know nothin' about them except that they're damned easy on the eyes, and have a tube in them. No prices on the web site, but I can't see these being cheap. Since words like "custom," "hand-built," "Neumann," and "Haufe" are liberally sprinkled through the single page, I can make a ball-park guess and say you're looking at a $1500 mic right here.


The one thing I find nice about tube mic manufacturers is that, unlike every other company that puts tubes in their gear, they don't feel the need to stick a window on there so you can see it. It's enough to simply say it's a tube mic without having to stick it in your fucking face. I've never understood that. "Look, we put a Russian 12AX7 in this [insert middle-of-the-road kit here]! Isn't it fabulous? Now you know it's just fat with a capital Ph!" I'm not sure which is stupider, consumers or the companies that take advantage of them.


 
August 13, 2005

Space*Synth update...

by Chris Randall
 

As a bit of an update to my Tiny Digital roundup of last week, Tony from ElectroKraft dropped me a line to let me know that the reason no more Space*Synths were available is because they require a specific chip, the Texas Instruments SN76477 (which is the sound chip used in many vintage video games, not the least of which is Space Invaders.) This chip is no longer made, and is rare as rare can be. Thus, unless a quantity can be procured, no more Space*Synths.


He did let me know that he has another project in the pipeline which sounds really cool. I'm looking forward to it, and will drop info when it becomes available.


 
August 12, 2005

Hard-Core Gear Porn Friday!!!

by Chris Randall
 


This absolutely ludicrous wall of outboard and synths belongs to some studio called "Cosmos," I think. I could make a feeble attempt to Trainspot all the gear on this wall, but I think that the phrase "two of everything, ever" would about cover it. Let me just state for the record that if you're even remotely bothered by that picture, then you definitely don't want to see the rest of the studio. Anyone know where this is or who owns it?

 
August 11, 2005

Alice mic kit...

by Chris Randall
 
 

This is kind of nifty. It's a DIY small-capsule condensor microphone called "Alice." Judging from the sound clips, it compares favorably to other mics of its ilk, and is somewhat cheaper. I kind of like the copper tube look, truth be told. The creator, Scott Helmke, offers kits for this, as well. If you want to supply your own piece of copper tubing and grill, the cost is $25. The "Everything" kit, which comes with all you need to build it as you see it on the site, is $50. Note that this isn't a n00b kit. You need to have a mediocre understanding of soldering and such, and a Dremel tool to cut the mic body. He also sells the completed mic for $200.00, which is pretty reasonable for how it sounds and what is in it. There is no shopping cart on the site; you have to e-mail him with your wants and desires.


While you're at his site, check out his Brazil mic. A Terry Gilliam-inspired piece, it uses the same guts as Alice but an altogether more-cooler body. This isn't available as a kit, but he'll build one for you if you ask nice.


 
August 10, 2005

Hey! Wanna see a trainwreck?

by Chris Randall
 

Well, on the one hand, you have to admire us Americans. When we're not busy spreading Freedom at the point of an M-16 or complaining about the French, we sure are a crafty bunch. We can figure out how to make money on anything.


Of course, the net result is that when we're not coming off as bullies, we're only one step away from your average Nigerian scammer. Check this site out. (And I apoligize in advance to the Internet Gods for giving this fucktard any traffic at all.) The Internet Audio Guy wants to tell you the secrets to making digital audio products to sell, because, you know, 35% of people are auditory learners.


From what I can parse out from his half-assed site, the object of the exercise is to use his Bronze Studio Package to create pyramid-scheme audio content. Now, I could just ass-rape him on that alone, but the thing that really gets my goat is the Bronze Studio Package itself. This is an Edirol UA-25 interface, an Audio Technica AT3035 mic, and a copy of the baby Sound Forge. He'll sell you this Amazing Package Of Studio-Quality Hardware And Software for $695, plus whatever shipping he decides to tack on, and won't tell you about until you've already entered your payment information. This is amazing, inasmuch as the sum total from ZZounds for the same "package" is $507.95, which is a mark-up of only $187.05.


Luckily, we live in the information age, and it's easy to put paid to morons like this with even a tiny bit of research. But, god damn, I hate these sorts of things, fat male-pattern baldness snake-oil salesmen that make their living by taking advantage of people that just want to get a leg up in the world. It's not often you see it in the audio market, but lo and behold, nothing is safe.


EDIT: I just figured out something really cool about that site. On the first page, below the fold (that's newspaper parlance for "scroll down") there are a bunch of audio testimonials in little Flash sound-playing gizmos. After you've given the page a minute or so to fully load, you can create a really cool musique concrete kind of thing by playing them all at once, and starting and stopping various pieces. I'm going to record a track of this, call it "Music Of The Spherical Heads," and copyright it. Then I'm going to sue the Internet Audio Guy for infringement.

 

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