Diamond Dave: The Gift That Keeps On Giving...
From the original Analog Industries archive. Some links and images from that era no longer resolve.
I don’t really have anything to say about these that Diamond Dave hasn’t already said. “This baby is loaded with techno.” (Thanks to Mr. McAnally, Diamond Dave’s new best friend.)
35 comments
That's it, I'm finding this guys studio and robbing him. The motherfucker does not deserve anything he has... he's a fucking idiot and I'd like to pee on him! I bet he lives out in LA too...heh. Jesus...seriously, is this a joke or something? Lay off the coke man... way to hyper.
mp3 analog?
There's a distinct "hello, I'm suicidal ha ha ha" vibe going on.
You'd think he'd at least master the bloody audio on his video clips, eh? CR, what do you think of a special edition of FMOF, and see what people can do with "this baby is loaded with techno" - maybe give us two loops, one with a demo loop from the (newer) 909 and then Diamond Dave's insightful observation. I can AudioHijack both if needed.
Also, while tempting, please don't click "Flag as Inappropriate" when watching these clips on YouTube.
I got dizzy and fell out of my chair while watching these. What is he trying to do? Promote his studio, or give us seizures? Playing both videos at once is especially distressing but compelling, like watching a car crash.
Lord, i almost suspect this guy is the coked-up janitor for that studio who goes in at night and makes videos pretending to be the big shot.
I love how he doesn't seem to know what anything does, he just reads off the brand name of the gear. "well we have a Tascam, yeaah. and a TC Electronics(sic), really cool gear there, ummm, sniff, yeahhh."
Come to think of it, though, i have worked in plenty of studios where the owner would have to work hard at it to even be as savvy as our man Dave.
He records musicians, bands AND artists? Damn, that's versatile!
did he just say a roland VS recorder is analog ...
So is his studio any good? I have seen multi-million dollar pro studios, and so I know his studio is not a real pro studio, and I have of course seen lots of bargain basement diy recording (which is pretty much the way to go with a lot of electronic music), but I have no idea if his little studio is good or not (my only real studio experience is doing the voice for a telephone hotline and there was an engineer running everything). It seemed like a bunch of mix and match crap to me... but then again I am truly shocked that he actually has any sort of studio at all.
He did say the Roland VS is analog, although he was gesturing at its inputs at the time so maybe he means that the signals coming into it are analog. That's probably crediting him with too much knowledge, however, since earlier he describes a MiniDisc recorder as "analog MP3". That statement in itself is a contradiction, of course, but MDs are neither analog nor do they use MP3 compression.
Also, at the beginning he says he's been in the biz for 13 years, and yet he was going on in that chat session about being around in the 80s...
--Adam
Well he's got an analog mp3 machine....as far as I know, he's the only person in the world who has one of those. I wish my minidisc player had that feature too.
Man I was really hoping he'd talk up his hurdy gurdy recording capabilities
"i can't connect to your pro tools!"
uhhhhhh, WHAT?
Hooray for Punta Rebels!
And Mass Masterfication.
The video really *really* looks like someone (Dave) who happens to work at a studio (not his), getting high, and fooling around on video after hours pretending to be the grand boss of the place. Notice he still hasn't dropped any type of musical resume (aside from some lawsuit of a band nobody has heard of, unless you live south of Belize).
Check out his most famous client, the Punta Rebels. Real rough looking group of teenagers. *cough*
http://www.garinet.com/cgi-bin/gkwebstore_shopping.cgi?ACTION=VIEW_PRODUCT&DEPARTMENT_ID=5&CATEGORY_ID=1&PRODUCT_ID=358&SOURCE=within_store&LANGUAGE=e
Jaysen: "The video really *really* looks like someone (Dave) who happens to work at a studio (not his), getting high, and fooling around on video after hours pretending to be the grand boss of the place."
I agree completely. "Dave" is either a project-studio Star Wars Kid, or he's in on the joke.
Don't know if this was posted in any of the other Diamond Dave posts, but here is the local Belize news story on the Punta Rebels incident:
http://www.channel5belize.com/archive_news_cast.php?news_date=1998-07-03#a2
Too funny for words.
Here's Diamond Dave's brother playing guitar the way it was meant to play: wailingly. He doesn't make guitar faces, though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ywqFGiP4Qo
"If you dont know what a patchbay is, you better change your line of profession"
He seems proudest of his patchbays, as if its the only piece of gear he's mastered.
His obituary will be the sad tale of trust fund kid who moved down south to be closer to his coke supply. I say that because surely he couldn't have made a 'living' as an engineer.
mmm, the audio quality of those video is the real proof of Diamond Dave's true audio "expertize"....
Fun As Hell, the first minute, then disturbing.
nice one!
Kokko
When googleing his real name,the first link that comes up is pdf of a courtcase regarding possesion of hashish with the intent to sale and possesion of cocain. Pure coincidence ?
Ughhhh, holy crap! That was a challenge to watch. Phew.
But hey, $5000 and I can record there for a year. Oh boy! We could do our Ernest ("Hey Verne!") impressions together. And I hope he has some of those "expensive Cancun hotel" beers in his mini-fridge. I want only the best.
I knew a cat similar..came into a few thou ..bought a triton a used Vs-840 0r 880 (sumthin like that)and an mc-505..and a saxophone,they loved him at guitar center..his pops owned a factory which he begged to put his "studio" in..his pops said no.. he hid the gear while the building was open and jammed out when noone was there..the rest ofthe $$ all went to coke.Funny though this guys head xploded tellin ppl He got a pro studio ,walking around with that"I'm a producer yo"attitude.The same fucker asked me for help bulding a myspace acct and getting an email address.Fuck if he ever figures it out I will be sure to link his myspace page for fucktard cred..still wont top diamond dave!
Man, what a cunt. Where did these videos come from, and why hasn't Dave caught wind of all the laughing at his expense? I'm trying really hard to not hate him, but it's impossible. Also, let me be the first to say that his whole studio is shitty. If this is your home setup, fine. But if you walked into this place for the first time, tell me you wouldn't make polite conversation for 15 minutes and leave. And the $5,000 flat fee? The band should be paid at least that for spending up to a year with this turd. I love 'em like a brother, though.
What a dickhead. The terrible thing about guys like this (and they are everywhere) is that people who don't know better hire him and his shitstack studio to make their records. Poor souls.
Diamond Dave's knowledge and experience are clearly illustrated by the approach he took to acoustic treatment (the "soundproofing"). Classic. Yeah, gluing wedge foam onto every square inch of wall space makes a room sound just wonderful.
c.
I'll pretend for a moment that dave *is* accomplished and talented producer, and that his studio doesn't suck harder than a whore on navy payday. I still wouldn't work with that guy. No fucking way. I only got 3 minutes into the video before I had to turn that off. I only hope he's all coked up, because there's just no other excuse for that level of obnoxiousness.
Newsflash!That Trustafarian(trust fund kid) isnt using coke,maybe heroin or meth.Shoulda used up that trust fund money and went to school.Sure now its all spent on dope.I wanna beat him with that groovebox and jack his powercore!
This guy is so fucking annoying, he runs way over the line between entertaining and just plain irritating. Chris, why are you trying to torture us? Please take these links down, pleeeeeeze take these links down.........!
A few days ago I thought he was just full of crap. After a few minutes into watching today's installment, I realized he's toasted one way or another. Just say no poster boy.
What kills me are the comments he's leaving on other videos, like the purehigh guy and this one for 2Pac:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCAn4Zn8BUk
"well he was in belize alot of folks dont know that
diamond recording studio ltd.
before he signed to deathrow"
Riiiight.
I think what's scariest to me is that the Diamond Dave videos are like 3 characters from the town in Iowa I'm from all wrapped up into one bodice.
They range from the singer in http://www.lyinheart.com/ www.lyinheart.com</a> to the owner of <a href=" http://www.catarecording.com/ (it should be noted that the traits DD shares with the former are FAR greater than the latter...as Catamount has some pretty fucking cool shit in their studio).
"that there is a MOTU.... ya know M O 2. It's a midi."
This guy is my new hero.
Just imagine the amount of money he has spent on coke. By now, he probably would have the largest ProTools HD setup on earth... with every goddamn iLok protected plugin (times two hundred).
But hey, has anybody heard anything he'd done?
Should I change my name to Ruby Ralph or Emerald Earnest? What do you guys think?
I think that Felspar Felch sounds the most professional.
He just gives and gives:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXLY9X2ZL7g
Yay, there is new Diamond Dave goodness up on Youtube. "Part 3: Further proving myself to be an asshat" can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXLY9X2ZL7g
P.S.: does anybody have copies of the first two videos (the hotel one, and the one where he talks about the CD store he doesn't have much to do with). I'd like top show those to my girlfriend, but they are no longer online.
Protools LE motherfucker
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