# Diamond Dave is, in actual fact, The Real Thing...

- Site: Analog Industries
- Author: Chris Randall
- Date: 2006-08-11
- URL: https://analogindustries.com/2006/08/diamond-dave-is-in-actual-fact-the-real-thing/

So there was a thread on Gearslutz that kind of went concurrently with the Diamond Dave shit we were rockin' here earlier. It was in good fun. In actual fact, it was a bit kinder than our conversation here, because to the best of my recollection, they didn't call Diamond Dave a fucktard, like, 25 times.

The creator (and main motivator) of the Gearslutz thread was our good friend [Adam Jay,](http://www.boldrecording.com/) who has graced these very pages several times with his excellent kit. Long story short, Diamond Dave got wind of the thread, and wrote Jules (the operator of Gearslutz) with all kinds of drama. Jules, not being very fond of drama, just removed the thread, which is expedient, but not much fun. However, I'm my own ISP, and could give two shits, and love drama to boot.

Diamond Dave made what some would construe as a mistake by calling Mr. Jay. When greeted by voice mail, he left a **10 minute** message, wherein he told Mr. Jay that while he could wear a shirt that says "I'm A Pirate," that didn't mean he was one. Also, his father is an Airborn Ranger (retired), his mother is FBI (retired), his brother isn't happy, he might sue Gearslutz, and he is the Real Thing, among many other excellent tidbits.

The only possible thing that could make this better would be if Adam found a way to make a recording of his voice mail so he could share this with us, right? Oh, wait. [he did.](http://www.boldrecording.com/adamjay/DiamondDave_VoiceMail.mp3) Enjoy.

## Comments (24)

**benpoole** (2006-08-11):

Ramble, ramble, "I do recordings for the court system"...

Pure, unadulterated comedy gold.

**musicmachinemaker** (2006-08-11):

zzzzzz....
fbi and israel... retired
that's some strong backup hehe

**TheLowEnd** (2006-08-11):

the guy has obviously got a packed diary if he can spend 10mins rambling inane nonsense to an answering machine...

also, while i'm on - could someone enlighten me, and also put my mind at ease - there are only a minority of people in america that actually talk that way in normal conversation, as if he was doing a one-man monologue stage-show, (albeit a very dull one) right?

**inteliko** (2006-08-11):

My MOMMY IS AN FBI AGENT, YA BETTA WATCH OUT!

**jeddak** (2006-08-11):

Next step....the Diamond Dave voicemail dance mix!

**shamann** (2006-08-11):

I like that he tries to make a long story short at the 3 minute mark, then goes on for another seven.

This guy is somethng else alright.

**inteliko** (2006-08-11):

A loop and a snippet from the voicemail=FMOF

**shamann** (2006-08-11):

If you google "biggest engineer douchebag found" the gearslutz thread has been cached for anyone who missed it.

**noisegeek** (2006-08-11):

So not only is this guy a fucktard, but now he's keeping me from reading Gearslutz when i should be working? Bastard!

**JG** (2006-08-11):

I am so totally going to granularize this beotch.

Perhaps AI can have a "Diamond Dave Remix Contest"? (No doubt the first of many.) Screw the snippet for FMOF - there's waaaaay too much good stuff here to limit it to just four measures...not that I know how you'd determine what "four measures" is in this case...

What a fucktard.

**retrosynth** (2006-08-11):

The great (great for us, bad for diamond dave) thing about google is the cache. http://www.google.com/search?q=%22www.gearslutz.com/board/showthread.php%3Ft%3D77841%22&hl=en&lr=&filter=0 Be sure to click on the cache link not the main links.

**boobs** (2006-08-11):

spectacular

**AdamJay** (2006-08-11):

Another gift for you all.

Dave called me yesterday after he saw that i posted his recorded voicemail (well, at least he says this is concerning my "netcast", and for a guy who doesn't know dick about the internet, i can only assume that's what he is referring to).

Unfortunately at the time of his call i was on a very tall ladder, replacing horns in loudspeakers (i moonlight as a sound/light guy at a nightclub), so i couldn't be bothered with the call. But thank the Nokia gods for the "send to voicemail" button on my phone.

:-)

Here, my friends, is VOICEMAIL #2 from DiamondDave103:

http://www.boldrecording.com/adamjay/DiamondDave_VoiceMail_2.mp3

we only get 1 minute of his Coke induced love poems this time around, but it is no less entertaining. Apparantly the CITY (not Country) of Belize has a Prime Minister.

And i love how he tries to be all suave at the end "we can CHAT this up.... catch ya laaater....."
but then turns off the cool with "...later, bye."

I wonder what the punishment is for "disgracing the country of Belize" when i never typed the word ,Belize, before this very post on this very blog?

I guess i should call my lawyer!

He's an FBI Agent.

retired.

**D' MacKinnon** (2006-08-11):

"I removed certain pictures from my internet"

Does this guy use Babelfish for his English?

Better be careful, he might call up his buddies in Israel to roll some tanks on the gearslutz ISP.

**AdamJay** (2006-08-11):

by the way, cause i gotta be a gearslut, voicemails were recorded with an AT4041 microphone on the earpiece of my Nokia phone, through a Phoenix DRS-2 preamp and into a Lynx Aurora 16 converter.

its funny, the last time i got sued it was a lawyer contacting me. Not some cokehead (well... cokehead non-lawyer).

**Diamond Dave McAnally 103** (2006-08-11):

The fact that a guy like Diamond Dave has the prime minister of Belize's phone number is a little scary.

Since it is not a matter of disgracing an entire country, shouldn't he be directing his complaints to the US Belize Embassy?

God I would love to have that phone call recorded

**MidiMonk** (2006-08-11):

OMG, my grandfather passed away a few hours ago and this helped me smile.thanx diamond dave

**joshua_schnable** (2006-08-11):

At this point, this whole Diamond Dave thing begs the question: are we the ones getting played?

A few years back, this band Slicker released an album "We All Have A Plan", and registered the .com for the album title (the album site is no longer up). The day of, or around there, the site was "hacked" by a guy named "Vince Weall". He claimed his company/site ( http://weallhaveaplan.biz/ ) had a more rightful claim to the domain, and thus it appeared that he hijacked the domain registry to point to his site.

His message board was flooded by threats and whatnot, and the whole thing looked like quite a mess. I don't have the official line on whether it was fabricated or not, but the 99% of me that thinks it was also thinks that it was some pretty ingenious marketing.

Vance's site is still up, and has some videos and such that rival the "is this guy for real" effect that Diamond Dave provides.

**AdamJay** (2006-08-11):

"and ya don't stop....."

just received 2 emails from Dave a little while ago
see them here:
http://www.boldrecording.com/adamjay/DiamondDave_Sue.jpg

**AdamJay** (2006-08-11):

my emailed response to Dave:

you have nothing on me.
I never even mentioned the word BELIZE prior to today. So how can i
be accused of disgracing the country of Belize without ever referring
to it?

I never posted a picture of your Brother either. You should figure
out how the internet works, specifically internet forums. I start a
thread, other people reply to it. Just because there is a picture of
your brother in a thread i started, DOES NOT MEAN I POSTED IT.

All i did was post links to YOUR OWN YOUTUBE.COM VIDEOS, and other
webpages in the public domain. I never said you ARE A PIRATE. I said
YOU MAY BE A PIRATE.

Get your facts straight.

If you really want to sue me, i'll help you out and tell you exactly
how you should approach it. Going to MSN or the "Prime Minister of
Belize City" will get you nowhere.

You need to contact the US Embassy in Belize if you want to pursue me
legally for disgracing an entire country. Furthermore if you are
sueing me, why are you contacting me? Your Lawyer should do that for
you.

And lets put this all into perspective, alot worse things have been
said about alot more important people than you in the world.
Presidents and Diplomats have been criticized
far worse than a coccaine addict like yourself. Be the comments true
or false, they aren't being sued for it.

and the whole bit about your mommy being FBI. wow man i haven't heard
a comeback like that since the 5th grade. I had you pegged for only
having the intelligence of a 4th grader. So you've really exceeded my
expectations. You should be proud of yourself. Congratulations.

bring it on dude, you ain't shit, never were shit, never gonna be shit.
you're just a fucking washed up retard who can't make it in the USA
because Americans can see through your bullshit. have fun trying to
sue me from outside of the country.

You're going to have to sue the whole goddamned internet because the
World is laughing at you, Dave. How did it feel to have Butch Vig's
studio give you an order to cease and desist the use of his likeness
on your webpage?
You're such a fucking loser.

I hope to hear from you soon!

-Adam Jay

**jeddak** (2006-08-11):

Mr. Dave didn't actually say he's going to call the Prime Minister of Belize (http://www.belize.gov.bz/pm/welcome.shtml), he said "I'm contacting the Prime Minister of Belize....City".

The pause between 'Belize' and 'City' implies, to my ears, a degree of uncertainty on the part of Mr. David. I'm tempted to call the good PM inquiring as to his exact relationship with our funny friend.

**Chris Randall** (2006-08-11):

Indeed.

Just a reminder: no HTML allowed in the comments. If you got a link, just type it, and it'll get turned in to a link. Ditto for email addresses. Which is why this board is so deliciously spam-free.

-CR

**Tomer** (2006-08-12):

Wow! israel!
maybe his fighting in lebanon in these very moment. :P

**tiresiasx** (2006-08-25):

OK. I just can't let this one die. Not yet. I am the one that did the "modification" to the picture that he kept referring to. It was a friend of mine that posted it. He left a voicemail that I couldn't help but to.....well......"modify" as well. Here is the result containing the previously unreleased VM message.

http://media.putfile.com/Diamonddave-Phone-Call