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Fucktard Of The Week (or not?)

From the original Analog Industries archive. Some links and images from that era no longer resolve.

Of course, we all do this. That goes without question. But we don’t film it and inflict it on others. So, he’s just a fucktard for filming it and uploading it, not actually doing it, I guess. (Of course, most of us try to play with some semblance of timing, which bears mentioning. Quantization was invented for people like this.)

UPDATE: The verdict: not a fucktard, according to the readers of Analog Industries, who are well versed in such matters.

26 comments

  1. tycho

    awww come on. fucktard is a bit harsh....poor guy. I think I saw another video a while back where his timing was actually pretty good, must have caught him on a bad day.

  2. steve.reaver

    I saw this clip a few weeks ago and thought it was pretty good at the time, I think It's just the timing on the delay that makes it sound a bit out. Love the facial expressions......

  3. neilium

    If he lost the drum track, I'd be more into it.

    It hardly qualifies as "improvisation", though.

  4. Chris Randall

    I dunno. If I was going to show off, the standard industrial/techno octavo fiesta would be low on my list. It reminds me of that Japanese chick that was making the rounds a couple months ago; it's really quite easy to play that fast. I can easily play as fast as that Japanese lady, doing those octaves and and double-whammies. I don't have her theory, for sure, but the speed isn't a big deal. You're playing one note using four fingers. I thought it was more interesting that the bass player and drummer could keep up with her.

    But the video above, any reasonably competent keyboard player can do; I'm not trying to be snobby or anything. Just sayin' that it's not exactly an "OMG" kind of thing.

    -CR

  5. audioel

    It's not the gear, it's the wanking. And using a modular to do what he's doing puts him well into fucktard territory IMHO. ;)

  6. Lindon

    ...he seems to have no sense of swing or syncopation(or its very perverse)....thus = fucktard.

    Hang on, I think that makes me a fucktard too.....

  7. nousrnm

    hahahaha. omg. what the hell is he looking at?

  8. Jaysen

    I dunno.... i've seen this vid before and I like it. If he's improvising, he's doing a damn good job as this is as good as anything i've heard from Juno Reactor or any of the other wave of Goa trance bands from the mid 90's. But then i've always been partial to that type of techno. While not omg material, it does makes for an impressive free jam.

  9. ortho

    it's a fairly spirited performance i'd say. Balzout

    I wonder what he's like behind the wheel.

  10. InvisibleMensch

    What the hell is that controller he's using- a CZ-3000?

  11. RexRhino

    Yawn inspiring... but not fucktarded.

    But I wonder, what is the point of having all that modular gear if you are just going to make it sound like your typical software synth? I thought the point of having a modular system was so you could do all those Vince Clark style random drum noise loops, or some wierd frequency modulation that changes the sound and rythym over time... etc..

    The kid could have saved himself some money and just purchased a Micro Korg or something. He could still do the same type of stuff. Synthesis wise, I have heard a lot more interesting stuff from people running a cheap sampler through a bunch of guitar effects (some phaser, some distortion, delay and tweak the wah wah, and you have a poor man's modular). What is the point of having a modular system if you are just going to patch it to sound like a generic synth?

  12. john_o

    wow, yeah i guess he's more of a fucktard for going through the trouble of making opening credits and trying to pass this off as anything more than just a home movie of a dude playing around with his stuff.

    maybe i'll have someone videotape me going into guitar center and trying out a guitar, i can run through half-remembered versions of stairway to heaven and sweet home alabama. i can call that a 'live performance.'

    i'm sure most of you all have seen this but just in case. for a real serious fucktard there's always this:

    http://www.keytarinc.com/

  13. mike kiraly

    My vote is for non-fucktard. In my opinion, a fucktard is someone who does not / will not / can not have the sense to know any better.

    However...

    There are plenty of these kinds of videos around and therefore maybe this kind of thing should get it's own category. A label for those people that posesses all of the pre-requisite faculties to prevent their shame, but have a momentary lapse of bahavioural censorship.

    I believe Goa Gil here is just such a man. Or maybe he didn't know he was being filmed. There is always the benefit of the doubt....nah, f*** that.

  14. mike kiraly

    btw, i don't know why i censored the word f*** in the previous post, especially considering that the word that's the central theme of this thread is fucktard.

  15. cacealian

    He's too boring to really reach true fucktardedness.

    RexRhino read my thoughts. But then if you listen to most of the sound samples on the synthesizers.com site, it's the same thing. Or on any mid-70s TD album for that matter. What was that giant moog doing except running the 2 oscillators, a filter and an envelope from the sequencer?

  16. Suit & Tie Guy

    no this isn't a track i would listen to more than a few times, but he's got some nice ideas in there and i seriously doubt this guy posted this vid for any reason other than to say "man, i love playing this thing."

    here chris, why don't you post these vids in your blog too. i'm sure you'd think these perfectly innocent videos of people having fun with music proves they are "fucktards."

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfQWlppXsAc

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVkEUygg4rc

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RW4TDqy2RK0

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GqzI324qXs

    there: it's a whole month worth of fucktards for the analogindustries blog.

  17. Suit & Tie Guy

    "Or on any mid-70s TD album for that matter. What was that giant moog doing except running the 2 oscillators, a filter and an envelope from the sequencer?"

    there's actually a lot of sophistication going on if you bothered to pay attention. also if you ever played a Moog system you'd know that's all you can really do with it. they are quite vanilla.

    modularity is only one benefit of a modular synthesiser. the other benefit is the interface ... having everything in front of you at all times, with everything spaced out with big knobs makes it quite a visceral experience.

  18. mitchell

    I say go easy on Mr. Mootbooxle... he's the poster child for synthesizers.com, and it's kind of nice to see a young guy who can appreciate analog modular gear. Personally I hate super-wank solos (I veer toward the Numan/old Human League end of synth-dom), but he's being artistic in his own way, and that's better in my book than the average twenty-something hip-hop-loving meatheads that I get to enjoy the company of when I do cover gigs.

    I do agree that maybe you could do something niftier with a modular, but most people don't enjoy the sound of crossmod lasers as much as I...

  19. noisegeek

    I'm not sure I'd call him a fucktard, but it certainly makes me fear any collaboration between Rick Wakeman and DJ Tiesto.

  20. Angstrom

    I don't think he reaches the hights of Fucktarddom , but he made me feel a lot better about MY keyboard skills. He plays like there is some huge latency on the keyboard and he is trying to compensate fluctuating with each note.Surely it's obvious that his timing is wonky?
    I sometimes (often) have rubber finger days when I can't seem to play on the beat, but I usually hit delete and go for a walk instead. I certainly wouldn't post a video of it.

    I propose a players equivalent of Nyquist, here it is :

    You may only play notes at HALF of the speed that you think you are capable of playing.

  21. cacealian

    Suit & Tie Guy
    Have you heard "Trancefer" by KS? It had some extremely sophisticated sequencing done on a Moog Modular. Sure what I said about TD was simplistic, but I think they never really pushed the instrument. And I don't think Time Steps is vanilla.

    But that said, I've never played a modular so what do I know?

  22. memedesigner

    Angstrom that was pretty neat

    The only and only very mildly offending thing in the video is that the space echo is running with its cover off.

    Them modulars are quite something arent they. Totally impractical - like air travel with Zeppelin - and totally adorable.

  23. idiotboy

    Well, if you plop this poor schmuck right on top of Mssrs Withers and Redding, of course he's going to look like a fucktard!

    Yeah, there's some -tardish qualities there, but I give the kid props for giving it a go.

  24. Audio Lemon

    I think he's great. I wish more regular punters would put up videos showing off their gear and them having a laugh using it.

    As to why he has a modular. I thought the video made that obvious.. he likes it.

  25. Diamond Dave McAnally 103

    I think Suit & Tie Guy's vid of the piano bar guy doing smoke on the water most definitely should get a fucktard nomination

  26. SynthBaron

    At least he has the balls to make a demo.

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