# It's not unusual... - Site: Analog Industries - Author: Chris Randall - Date: 2006-10-04 - URL: https://analogindustries.com/2006/10/its-not-unusual/ ![It's not unusual...](https://analogindustries.com/images/blog/pole.jpg) And people say guitars are phallic. I mean, really now. This is yet another fine example of the "solution in search of a problem" concept. Thrill to the [video.](http://www.themusicpole.com/look.html) Let's go ahead and remove any possibility of expression from the performance, and just whack out monophones at a constant 127 velocity. Let the notes do your talkin', motherfucker! ## Comments (28) **jeddak** (2006-10-04): Doesn't look/sound like it's velocity sensitive. So, in exchange for the ability to pose as an axe-slinger, you lose all dynamics. Hmmm... **synthetic** (2006-10-04): All keytar players should be forced to use those. Waist strap sold seperately. (Man, the guy's going to google himself someday and get very depressed...) **neilium** (2006-10-04): Guys, this post has been up for nearly an hour. I would've expected a dick joke by now. What gives? **ecallender** (2006-10-04): Mark Foley's got one of these. **dan s** (2006-10-04): If it had some kind of means of detecting the way it's held it might have been interesting. **RexRhino** (2006-10-04): MUST... NOT... MAKE... "PLAYING WITH SELF" JOKE... self control... self control... **puffer** (2006-10-04): Nah, the dick jokes are just too obvious. **boobs** (2006-10-04): you mean like "that guy sure smokes pole" **psylux** (2006-10-04): FINALLY a digeridoo with a midi port! **Rozzer** (2006-10-04): And I though this was gonna be about Tom Jones! **Chris Randall** (2006-10-04): You obviously didn't watch the whole video. -CR **michaeluna** (2006-10-04): Mom! What did I say about knocking before busting in here while I'm "Running a thumb up and down" my music pole! **inteliko** (2006-10-04): How I'd love to prankcall sweetwater and ask them for the one with the nutsack shaped D-beam...or glowing tube end! **BringMeUp** (2006-10-04): Ah, finally, a MIDI Controller that can be used as a bong! Simply _the_ best Christmas gift for Diamond Dave... - BMU **whiteboysushi** (2006-10-04): I will admit, the layout of the notes seems like a rather good idea (assuming you don't ever have to play in a minor key), but... "thumbletz"? Jesus. **Matt** (2006-10-04): Does anyone else think that this music pole looks like a dick? **synthetic** (2006-10-04): Also available in pink and tan **synthetic** (2006-10-05): What a male-dominated industry. Where's the giant MIDI vagina? **DavidBattino** (2006-10-05): Whoa — what a coincidence. I received a Music Pole for review a while back and finally plugged it in today. It does indeed send out only one velocity value (100), so I assumed I'd need to add a volume pedal to get any expression out of it, and that always seemed like too much trouble. It was actually kind of fun triggering riffs and portamentoed leads in XPhraze, though I would have liked a wheel or pressure pad to control volume and modulation. The thumbletz are annoyingly flimsy pieces of thin metal cloth you have to wear like velcro band-aids, but the construction quality of the pole is quite good. I think learning the fingerings will take a while, alas, but I'll give it a go. **Chris Randall** (2006-10-05): "Where's the giant MIDI vagina?" Why, Jeff, you can find that right here: http://www.eilands.com/andy/gallery/wakeman2003/image10005.htm -CR **Rozzer** (2006-10-05): "You obviously didn't watch the whole video. -CR" Yeah I got bored. "Revolutionising the way music is played". I think they look kinda fun, but that's stretching it ! **dm** (2006-10-05): Man, Rags has some hot gigs!! **synthetic** (2006-10-05): Perhaps the solution to the static velocity problem is to add a breath controller input to one end. The performer could blow into it himself, or hire an assistant if he can't reach that far. **JG** (2006-10-05): Uh, I don't think velocity sensitivity is going to make sucky Blues Traveller covers not suck. This thing is like the strumstick of MIDI controllers, except that instead of being a way to get over the initial how-to-play technical hurdle, it's rather a different avenue for wankery. Gives "musical masturbation" a whole new meaning. "Excuse my while I whip this out and express myself!" I was half expecting this dude to say he invented the keyboard tie... **JG** (2006-10-05): Hey, this guy should totally cross-market with one of those erectile-dysfunction medications! **shamann** (2006-10-05): I made it through to the Tom Jones (which I couldn't do yesterday). That brass part he's playing is some awful expressionless stuff, let me tell you. If not velocity sensitive, at the very least throwing in a mod controller somewhere wouldn't hurt. **Downpressor** (2006-10-06): boobs: I present thee with the screamingly obvious yet still funny joke award. 1) I couldnt be sure my ears werent wrong when the guy introduced himself as "Rags". I wasnt wrong... 2) the "thumbletz" made me think Rags had been playing his pole till his fingers bled. Glad to know I was wrong there. 3) if it wasnt hundreds of dollards, I'd get one just to fool around with it and try some pet assisted composition. I cant get my cats to play anything interesting on a traditional keyboard, but coat that Pole in catnip and I might get some good tunes. But not for hundreds of dollars. Best of luck to Mr. Rags and His Pole. **Xmuzik** (2006-10-06): i'd like to see someone make a program that would allow me to use a guitar as the midi controller for my vst instruments....