# Retards Keep Mailing Me. Please Stop.

- Site: Analog Industries
- Author: Chris Randall
- Date: 2007-02-07
- URL: https://analogindustries.com/2007/02/retards-keep-mailing-me-please-stop/

Just having a blog at all, even one of fair-to-middling popularity and narrow focus like this one, means you get a lot of stupid mail. Actual readers of the blog send in tips all the time, and I use most of them. But I also get a lot of "hot tips" from guerrilla marketing companies (ones that obviously aren't very good), Google Farm pages, and the like. This morning I was blessed with this:

_Hello  
I've found something on the internet that could be a good material for a blog post in your Music Blog. Take a look at "Top 10 Techy Sunglasses with Mp3 Players"_

_Have a great day_

_Best regards, Micle Mihai Cristian._

I left the link out, because I can't be bothered, quite frankly. So I actually replied to this one, something I don't normally do:

_Why on earth do you think I or my readers would find that interesting?_

_Chris Randall  
Positron Records, Inc._

A few minutes later, I get this back:

_Because is related to sound and music, and I'm sure they love everything related to this.Don't you ?_

Wouldn't it be nice if it was as simple as saying "you're a retard. Don't ever write me again?" (Which is exactly what I did.)

Another company that keeps writing me is an Indian software chop-shop that makes extremely dumbed-down versions of popular audio software (e.g. Soundforge, Cinescore, and the like.) They're as transparent as can be. They wrote me a month or two ago, offering NFR copies in exchange for a review on this site. I wrote back and said "listen, you _really_ don't want me to review your software. Seriously. Take a better look at AI." They're like "okay, but do you want NFR copies anyways?" I didn't answer that, then a week later I get exactly the same letter as their original communication.

So, this can be considered an open letter to all the fucking morons out there that read a "get rich on the internet" book: stop writing me. Seriously. I don't have anything nice to say about you, and never will. I'm not going to put a link up to your site unless you make high-end audio gear or did something phenomenally stupid. So go away.

## Comments (9)

**noisegeek** (2007-02-07):

"I'm not going to put a link up to your site unless you... did something phenomenally stupid."

I think that might be the problem.
Any publicity is good publicity when you have no scrupples about massaging the context of a quote.

**synthetic** (2007-02-07):

I'm still getting over the fact that there are 10 different sunglasses with MP3 players built into them.

**phasor3000** (2007-02-07):

There are such fine lines between clever, retarded, and fucktarded.

If only that guy had a YouTube video of him playing 80s hair-metal guitar while wearing his mp3 sunglasses, he might have made it into the coveted fucktard category and been rewarded with a link.

**Chris Randall** (2007-02-07):

No doubt. But I did look at his actual blog, and it's basically a textbook example of "Blogging For Fun And Profit (But Mostly Profit.)" If I don't make any money from this bitch, nobody else is either!

-CR

**RexRhino** (2007-02-07):

Chris,

You do make money from this bitch. I would not have purchased any Audio Damage plugins had I not found out about it on this blog. I can only imagine the same is true for a lot of people.

**Bjorn Vayner** (2007-02-08):

I come for the porn.
There hasn't been enough of that lately.
FMOF is fun too...

All that stuff got kinda blown away by the breeze of belize.

**Bjorn Vayner** (2007-02-08):

btw. Is there a way to get an RSS feed from the comments?
This would be very helpful. Unless i'm missing the correct way to view recent posts in older topics.

Cheers

- Bjorn

**JG** (2007-02-08):

MP3 sunglasses = the new BluBlockers
(can't wait to see the cheezy late-nite adverts)

**DavidBattino** (2007-02-09):

Those Indian guys pitched me too: “Since your blog is some what related to our programs, ie., it is based on learning music centre. we can offer you free licenses to any two of our programs.”

I told ’em I'd take a look when I got a chance, and I actually did download one of their programs. It looked like a Windows 3.1 hack a high schooler might have done.

Every few weeks after that, on some kind of automated schedule, they’d write back to demand, “Have you reviewed our software yet?” My favorite follow-up was the one titled something like “Third Notice--Request Review.” Like they were collecting on a debt.

Keep waiting, Ms. Gayathri.