EMI Hops On Clue Bus, Yet Gets Off At Wrong Stop...

You’ve no doubt heard this by now. EMI has apparently decided to bend to the will of the market, sort of, and sell DRM-free music on iTunes. They’ll be taxing the consumer for the honor of buying something that will play in all media players and not just iTunes, to the tune (pun intended) of an extra thirty cents. Aren’t they magnanimous?

Now, just to be on the record about this, I don’t care what the majors do with their catalogs. They can make their customers have to reach down the throat of a rabid coyote to try and grab a song wrapped in rusty razor wire, then sue that customer for cruelty to animals for all I give a fuck. The way I look at it, the consumer is usually quite willing to be fucked, as long as he/she is lubed up good and squishy first. No, what I take issue with are these two choice quotes. First, from EMI’s CEO, Eric Nicoli:

“Consumers tell us overwhelmingly that they would be prepared to pay a higher price for digital music that they could use on any player. It is key to unlocking and energizing the digital music business.”

Really. Actually, Eric (if I might be so informal,) the key to unlocking and energizing the digital music business is coming to the drastic realization that the MEDIUM is NOT the MESSAGE. The digital music business IS the music business, retard. Your business would be energized if you stopped spending so much money on Coldplay and started developing artists again. And that leads us to this choice nugget from our good friend Mr. Jobs:

“Doing the right thing for the customer going forward is to tear down the walls that impede interoperability.”

Hey, I’ve got an idea: make Logic use the same fucking plugin format as everyone else, you fucking turtleneck-wearing burnout.

Okay, rant done. Discuss.