# Snerk.

- Site: Analog Industries
- Author: Chris Randall
- Date: 2008-07-22
- URL: https://analogindustries.com/2008/07/snerk/

Jordan Rudess is [looking for a tech.](http://www.jordanrudess.com/jr/) My favorite part is this line:

_As this role requires you to be at Jordan's private residence, absolute discretion and confidentiality must be maintained by the successful applicant to maintain Jordan's privacy and the privacy of his family._

A good way to ensure privacy would be to ask your fans if any of them would like the job. And we all know how forward-thinking Dream Theater's fans are. I'm sure he'll get many excellent replies.

_Please no time wasters or overzealous fans, this is a serious opportunity to gain some great experience and work with one of the best musicians performing today in his own private studio._

No offense, Mr. Rudess, but if you're so shit-hot... well... I'll just let that thought dwindle off, because that's a road fraught with peril. But just for a moment, let's talk about grammar. The way that sentence is written, it sounds like he's one of the best home studio musicians performing today. That got a chuckle out of me. Jordan Rudess: King Of YouTube. But the one thing I _haven't_ seen is him using his Haken Continuum to trigger a V-Synth while playing the Super Mario Bros. theme. That would be the event horizon of wankery, and no mistake.

## Comments (10)

**inteliko** (2008-07-22):

Mr Rudess, change your own MoogerFoogin patch cables!

**jbratteson** (2008-07-22):

Tech: Mr. Rudess, I've always wanted to see you play up close. I can't believe I have a job with you.

Rudess: Uh.

Tech: Wow, look at how fast you play. You fingers move faster than in person they do on YouTube.

Rudess: Mmmm

Tech: What is that your playing now?

Rudess: It's a riff in the key Xb# 9 microtonal. I invented that key and it can only be played on this custom controller that I had built.

Tech: Wow that is so cool. Mr. Rudess, your hair looks so good today. Um....

Rudess: You can get me a cup of my Che Dang tea now.

**BirdFLU** (2008-07-22):

Whew! I thought I was the only person that thought this guy is way over-rated.

**stereofect** (2008-07-22):

I take it Jordan isn't invited to Modulate:08...??

**audioel** (2008-07-22):

Chris - this one was too easy. Mr. Rudess does a great job of looking weird, geeky, and pompous on his own. ;)

**Chris Randall** (2008-07-22):

I know. It's like making fun of RecordProducer.com. At some point you have to just say "okay, I need to stop now."

-CR

**Zero One** (2008-07-22):

"Jordan Rudess (Dream Theater) is looking for a studio tech"

personally, i like the use of (brackets) around Dream Theator, i know its his own personal website, but just in case any one visting didnt already know....
and just as a safety net - there's even a webguide in the top right hand corner - 'do you need a guide?
'

**MachinePop** (2008-07-23):

"the event horizon of wankery" - one of those phrases, which alone makes this blog required reading....oh yeah, and Jordan who?

**revmutt** (2008-07-23):

I'm kind of shocked that someone as vital and valuable to the music industry is living in the burbs instead of the big city. You'd think it would be necessary for him to be able leap into musical action at any moment.

I guess he's just a modest guy who doesn't want all that attention that Manhattan brings and at this point he's well known enough that he gets to call the shots.

"intern fan weenie!! Get me a good sound on this Mackie or I will replace you with William Hung.. He's been wanting to rock with me for years"

**drewkeys** (2008-07-23):

Jordan Rudess is like that guy at the party that talks the fastest and uses the biggest words, but somehow says nothing. What a wanker.