Snerk.

Jordan Rudess is looking for a tech. My favorite part is this line:

As this role requires you to be at Jordan’s private residence, absolute discretion and confidentiality must be maintained by the successful applicant to maintain Jordan’s privacy and the privacy of his family.

A good way to ensure privacy would be to ask your fans if any of them would like the job. And we all know how forward-thinking Dream Theater’s fans are. I’m sure he’ll get many excellent replies.

Please no time wasters or overzealous fans, this is a serious opportunity to gain some great experience and work with one of the best musicians performing today in his own private studio.

No offense, Mr. Rudess, but if you’re so shit-hot… well… I’ll just let that thought dwindle off, because that’s a road fraught with peril. But just for a moment, let’s talk about grammar. The way that sentence is written, it sounds like he’s one of the best home studio musicians performing today. That got a chuckle out of me. Jordan Rudess: King Of YouTube. But the one thing I haven’t seen is him using his Haken Continuum to trigger a V-Synth while playing the Super Mario Bros. theme. That would be the event horizon of wankery, and no mistake.