# Out Of Due Respect... - Site: Analog Industries - Author: Chris Randall - Date: 2010-12-18 - URL: https://analogindustries.com/2010/12/out-of-due-respect/ In all deference to the Late, undeniably Great Captain Beefheart, I reprint, in its entirety, the most linked-to and visited [post](https://analogindustries.com/2007/06/advice-listen-to-the-capn/) in the history of Analog Industries. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ ** Captain Beefheart's Ten Commandments For Guitarists:** **1\. LISTEN TO THE BIRDS...**That's where all the music comes from. Birds know everything about how it should sound and where that sound should come from. And watch hummingbirds. They fly really fast, but a lot of times they aren't going anywhere. ** 2\. YOUR GUITAR IS NOT REALLY A GUITAR...**Your guitar is a divining rod. Use it to find spirits in the other world and bring them over. A guitar is also a fishing rod. If you're good, you'll land a big one. **3\. PRACTICE IN FRONT OF A BUSH...**Wait until the moon is out, then go outside, eat a multi-grained bread and play your guitar to a bush. If the bush doesn't shake, eat another piece of bread. **4\. WALK WITH THE DEVIL...**Old delta blues players referred to amplifiers as the "devil box." And they were right. You have to be an equal opportunity employer in terms of who you're bringing over from the other side. Electricity attracts demons and devils. Other instruments attract other spirits. An acoustic guitar attracts Casper. A mandolin attracts Wendy. But an electric guitar attracts Beelzebub. ** 5\. IF YOU'RE GUILTY OF THINKING, YOU'RE OUT...**If your brain is part of the process, you're missing it. You should play like a drowning man, struggling to reach shore. If you can trap that feeling, then you have something that is fur bearing. ** 6\. NEVER POINT YOUR GUITAR AT ANYONE...**Your instrument has more power than lightning. Just hit a big chord, then run outside to hear it. But make sure you are not standing in an open field. **7\. ALWAYS CARRY YOUR CHURCH KEY...**You must carry your key and use it when called upon. That's your part of the bargain. Like One String Sam. He was a Detroit street musician in the fifties who played a homemade instrument. His song "I Need A Hundred Dollars" is warm pie. Another church key holder is Hubert Sumlin, Howlin' Wolf's guitar player. He just stands there like the Statue of Liberty making you want to look up her dress to see how he's doing it. **8\. DON'T WIPE THE SWEAT OFF YOUR INSTRUMENT...**You need that stink on there. Then you have to get that stink onto your music. **9\. KEEP YOUR GUITAR IN A DARK PLACE...**When you're not playing your guitar, cover it and keep it in a dark place. If you don't play your guitar for more than a day, be sure to put a saucer of water in with it. ** 10\. YOU GOTTA HAVE A HOOD FOR YOUR ENGINE...**Wear a hat when you play and keep that hat on. A hat is a pressure cooker. If you have a roof on your house the hot air can't escape. Even a lima bean has to have a wet paper towel around it to make it grow. ## Comments (7) **seancostello** (2010-12-18): The various videos posted today make me realize how much I love the guitar tones in the Magic Band. It seems like he always had at least one amazing guitarist, piping a Telecaster through a too-loud Fender amp, for a trebly, snarling tone which combined really well with Beefheart's growl. R.I.P. **bongo_x** (2010-12-18): I'm going to admit that my extreme dislike of hippy jams, Frank Zappa and "clever" caused me to never listen to one second of Captain Beefheart. Just the title "Trout Mask Replica" was like a Do Not Enter sign for me. So I just checked some out and it's not totally what I assumed it was. Less Primus and more Dr. John than I imagined. It would still be better if someone had turned the "quirky" knob down a bit. Or a lot. You really don't need any Primus. bb **Chris Randall** (2010-12-18): I'll be honest and say I like the concept of Captain Beefheart more than the execution. My general take on things is Captain Beefheart is to Tom Waits as, say, Marshall Jefferson is to Green Velvet. In other words, you don't really get one without the other, and if you really like one, you'll be able to stomach the other, but nobody's gonna hold it against you if you can't. But, respect, you know? -CR **bubblesound** (2010-12-18): my history with beefheart is very similar to bongo's. i always hated zappa's hamfisted "humor" and zappa's fans were the nail in the coffin. that hatred tainted all things connected to zappa. but a month ago i got trout mask and gave it a listen. while i'm still glad i waited this long to do it, it's clear to me that for a lot of the music of my youth beefheart represents the source. it's probably worth noting how both men ended up. zappa living in beverly hills and running for president with a flat tax plan pushed by steven forbes while beefheart walked away form music and became a respectable visual artist. it's nice when talent wins out over marketing... **4lefts** (2010-12-18): I like the bit about hummingbirds. One great reason never to have bothered learning to fret tap. **M7C** (2010-12-18): Not really accurate regarding how both men "ended up" but respect indeed. Thought I felt a disturbance in the force today... **Blackrg** (2010-12-20): Respect CR Respekt I couldn't get into Beefheart Trout Mask replica, but I shared a flat with a bunch of junkies and a repeating turntable, and developed a tolerance for the late seventies - eighties albums - Shiny Beast, Doc At The Radar Station, Ice Cream for Crow etc Its 'the Dead' I've never really understood..