Obvious...
From the original Analog Industries archive. Some links and images from that era no longer resolve.
One thing I learned back when I was semi-famous was that as soon as you have a little something, people that think they should have got a little something sue you. A lot. I’ve been sued for some stupid fucking shit during my career. It’s really tedious. Which brings me to KazeLoon (née Jason David Yonai.)
About two months back, he put up a cracked AD product on some file sharing service or another, and posted that fact on his Twitter account. Since one of my many Twitter searches uses the string “Audio Damage” I was immediately informed of this fact. So I sent a DMCA to the sharing service, like you do. Then I tweeted directly to him, and then a couple about him. He replied in a somewhat comical, if woefully misguided, fashion, and many of you know the rest of the story as you saw it unfold.
Anyhow, fast forward to today. I was really busy not giving a flying fuck about this dude, when this little gem shows up via SoundCloud direct message:
Once again i ain’t a scandalous person because very numerous people were telling me to sue you for everything but I’m a humble dude i ain’t a greedy person you feel me but I am a man of dignity and honor as well so that’s why out of self pride I have to sue to save face here is my business email business@kazeloon.com email me if you want to settle out of court with that I’m gone
With Saludos Your Friend
Jason D. Yonai
a.k.a KazeLoon
Isn’t he adorable? The following is the rest of the conversation. My replies are bolded.
Out of idle curiosity, exactly what do you think I’ve done that gives you warrant to sue me? You’re the only one that’s broken the law here.
Hey bro remember you made death threats to me implying dropping a safe on my head, then you said I was suing Jimmy Iovine, Slim Shady, 50 cent, Interscope, etc. which is not true because you hurt my chances of getting signed because nobody wants to get back at me from Major Contacts last I heard from my cousin you ruined my reputation on twitter bro that’s why everybody is giving me the cold shoulder treatment look how much would you be wiiling to settle out of court right now what you think is fair but keep in mind I could Sue you for alot of money I’m trying to work with you bro get at me Sincerely Your Friend Jason D. Yonai a.k.a KazLoon
So you’re telling me to pay you money or you’re going to sue me? Do I have that correct?
Yeah bro that is correct I am giving you one chance to settle before I am forced to hire a lawyer so how much can you put in my bank as of right now we can work on installation plan payments monthly just tell me how much you can put in my bank
You crack me the fuck up, man. I await communication from your lawyer.
Alright have it your way I tried to be reasonable bro like I said I have resources I don’t need your money several of my family members are multi millionaires and others have at least a million dollars bro and I’m in the process of selling part of my record company to a celebrity I cannot say I don’t need your money like I said I have resources bro have it your way I tried to show you love I know the civil law bro trust me I know you aint gonna win bro due to the factual evidence honest opinion
you sure you don’t want to settle because I’m going to call a lawyer A.S.A.P
Knock yourself out.
I don’t really have any editorial at this point. I’ll let the record speak for itself.
64 comments
His idiocy speaks for itself, what else can I say?
You know, due to the factual evidence honest opinion...bro.
Well, it is pretty cool that the major labels check to see if you've shamed someone on Twitter before signing them.
I know, right? I didn't know my own power.
-CR
this guy.. really? and wtf w/his music. it's as shitty as anything on the internet.. those vocals.. gah.. like recorded in tiled room inside of another tiled room then compressed and reverb added then compressed again.. and his voice sounds like shit of course.
https://soundcloud.com/kazeloon
jesus. make it stop.
and i agree w/Mike.. his idiocy speaks loud and clear in his email. i know the word retard is not PC or whatever.. but the guy is a retard.
i'm not surprised.. it seems people live in these little bubble worlds they create in their minds with aid of social media. i think it's the new extension of the modern american delusion.
now he's gonna sue you for this blog. "you ruined my reputation on your blog bro"
"several of my family members are multi millionaires and others have at least a million dollars bro"
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ArjrUzTCMAAMhnM.jpg:large
Maybe he is 13?
- Hugo
Somehow I feel this is either going to go away or get very entertaining. Popcorn at the ready.
I don't know what the parlance of our times is, but he sure uses "nigga" a lot for an Asian dude.
I'm with boobs.
My skull got smaller reading that.
He's just a dumb kid, but what a cocksucker he's gonna be when he gets older. Let's be clear on that.
I wanna deck him.
- c
When I think of that installation plan offer, I'm reminded of that original Caine's Arcade video, where he goes "I bought the fun pass."
-CR
I weep for the future of our species.
Suggested nickname: Suge Not.
I'm with bro. Bro.
It appears he's already tried to sue the rich family members:
http://dockets.justia.com/docket/california/cacdce/2:2007cv00108/381251/
"He's just a dumb kid"
In the official answer to "Who is KazeLoon?" it says he's 30. So less a kid and more just dumb.
http://aolanswers.com/questions/kazeloon_862178984133137/kazeloon-jason-david-yonai-date_862057794193470
I'm sure his parents are proud of him bucking the asian stereotype of being smart.
I'm with boobs.
The Thanksgiving Day Epic Rap Battle was one of the highlights of my holiday season, but this is going too far. I wanted to hope that his insane responses was just him getting caught off guard and feeling like he had to go on attack. Granted, it was an inelegant attack, but I kind of understood where he was coming from. Some people feel that if somebody lays into you (even if you are in the wrong) that you end up looking weak if you don't retaliate. Going to the ends of trying to sue to save face, especially when the record shows that all of this started out because he was breaking the law by distributing cracked software from his Dropbox account, is just the definition of idiocy.
Sad, really. But, I do have my popcorn ready. I don't see this kid going away anytime soon.
- William
He's a piece of shit.
- c
He's a guy who has been in prison since age 15 to around age 29. Think what your life would be like if those years had been spent in prison. Would you have a lot of employable skills? Would you have been able to cultivate your talents in the way that they developed? Would you know how to do ANYTHING in the big wide world? Or would you just be kinda insane, and not know how to cope with reality?
Don't get me wrong. Extortion fucking sucks. I freak out when I get someone saying ANYTHING nasty in a forum. I can't even imagine what a lawsuit would be like. Just trying to say that this guy doesn't seem like his threats are coming from the reality based community. I'll shut the fuck up now.
Wait, how do we know his history?
- c
p.s. And yes, I know I'm gonna regret asking.
You can look up a lot online.
I need to apologize to Chris at this point. Whatever was going on for me up a few posts was some weird ass vestige of my Catholic upbringing. Love your enemies, turn the other cheek, all that stuff. The fact is, this isn't MY enemy we're talking about, so all that stuff about loving your enemies should in no way apply. Chris is being threatened by some douchenozzle, and the last thing I should be doing is getting all compassionate, when it isn't my place to do so.
(my wife is prompting me to write) and I need to remember my whole "love thy enemy" piousness when some asshole is coming after me online. It's not pretty over here when this happens, and I'm not all flowers and compassion.
This guy is just having the same reaction a 'homie' of his would have were this a conversation in a bar, but since this is online we have the G-dawg version of the Streisand effect at work. It's only the fact that 'suing' in the US can be done by anyone, for anything, at any time that gives his threats any merit.
And while you could paint the civil court system as being a battle of pockets and a den of dysfunctionality, I can't help but think that this guy better have a judge as a brother to keep from getting laughed off the docket on day1.
There's a mind-melting "bio" on his SoundCloud page as well, with such gems as "I'm the best Freestyle artist in the World" followed by "NO OFFENSE I ERASE ALL OF MY SOUNDCLOUD COMMENTS MADE ON MY MUSIC PAGE SO PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME NONE THANKS".
The guy's just a fuckwit. Advertising warez on Twitter? Seriously?
I don't get it...why doesn't he just fucking buy a license or better yet redeem himself by buying licenses for all your products and stfu?
The fact he hasn't really does earn him the special C word
Pathetic attempt at modesty too
shit i just read the rest. Yeh he's a cunt.
I could watch this unfold all year round.
btw obviously all those millionaires in the family don't share his confidence in his music.
wow - his, umm.. "freestyles" - like the one for sale (!!!) on Amazon - ..... kind of not sure what to say...
I'm gonna sue him if this holds up bitcom or any other future AD product release. F'realz homie. I gots to get ma DSP on.
I'm gonna sue him for his inability to hit the full stop key.
Although he is clearly deluded, and seems to be not quite firing on all cylinders... it doesn't make him any less of a massive cunt.
Man, imagine if someone actually did get killed by a safe. Like, a gang rents a panel truck, and puts one guy on the roof with a safe. Then they do a drive by, get to the corner, drop the safe on some dude. Wiley E Coyote style points right there. Maybe for "bring your daughter to work day" in the gang.
@synthetic you'd really have to get that timing right. Imagine how pissed you'd be if you missed your target. Best to have a second trap, like, a big hole in the street right afterward. You'd need to cover it with a tarp or something PAINTED like the street, so they wouldn't know it's a hole.
I just re-read CR's post, as, it takes awhile to get a handle on KL's flow. This is probably the worst shakedown in the history of shakedowns.
That is some funny shit.
I was just going through the usual Soundcloud inbox stupidity, and I discovered he had written me a few hours before, with this lovely missive:
Hey Chris this is your twitter buddy KazeLoon look I know you said alot of foul stuff on twitter about me and before I file a lawsuit on you I wanted to formally give you a chance to settle without all of the b.s all I'm asking is for 1 million dollars that is not to much considering what I could possibly win in court if I stretch it I am a man of peace despite my violent lyrics I promote peace & equality can we come to a settlement before I have to file a libel lawsuit on you in civil court? Hollar at me bro I will work with you
Your Friend,
Jason D. Yonai
a.k.a KazeLoon
How much do you want to bet he was incarcerated "frum" June 27th 1997 to December 13th 2010 for (incredibly poorly) attempted blackmail?
I'm with Sean here, kinda. In the sense that he got locked up at 15, and still thinks like a 15 year old. But the only compassion I offer is to Chris
You don't get locked up at age 15 for that long unless you seriously hurt somebody or perhaps stopped them from living.
- c
"Your Friend,
Jason D. Yonai
a.k.a KazeLoon "
Some friend.
Reminds me that awhile ago someone in Georgia (I think) whose cousin is a lawyer (ostensibly) said he was gonna sue AD, for reasons so absurd I've now forgotten them. Apparently he reconsidered.
--Adam
I love the "I'm trying to be your friend by blackmailing you instead of formally suing you" spin on his threat. I'm feeling a little bored after reading all this, I think might go hold up a bank and then threaten to sue the bank for catching me. Win win!
We're all making "oh, he's essentially trapped in amber at age fifteen, give the guy a break..." reaction.
But didn't you have your shit more together than this at fifteen?
- c
Please post a paypal link so we can all contribute to pay this guy off before it gets serious.
Wow.
i'm with beauty pill, even at 15 my extortion attempt wouldn't be so pitiful. Although, probably not as hilarious either.
and, not to disparage the holy name of Audio Damage, but where did he get the impression that there's 1 million dollars to be had?
"those vocals.. gah.. like recorded in tiled room inside of another tiled room then compressed and reverb added then compressed again.. "
boobs, you should be a music writer. I have never heard a better verbal depiction of what i later (unfortunately) heard. no one is grabbing those IR's....
Just drop a civil complaint on him for copyright infringement asking for a few hundred thousand in damages. That'll get him to shut the fuck up real quick.
Challenge him to a rap battle, Electric Boogaloo stylee...
During our twitter-based combat, he pointed out all the ways my flow is less than exemplary while his is the model of informed socio-political commentary. I'll just take that at face value.
-CR
I didn't want to bring it up, but now that it's out there; We've noticed that your Flow is, how to say this, "not strong". Your friends are worried and want you to do better because they care about what happens to you. You need help.
bb
Rap Intervention!
He's just mad because he found out he's a "bortee"
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bortee
Sadly, just another East LA tweaker.
I'd be pretty intimidated by him if I were you. The stupid might be contagious. Maybe give in to his demands and paypal him 3 cents, if for nothing else than to keep up the flow of comedy gold.
LOL, looks like k-'loon' has been filing one a month
http://dockets.justia.com/search?query=Jason+David+Yonai&circuit=9
and maybe ....what Fnord sez
Maybe give in to his demands and paypal him 3 cents, if for nothing else than to keep up the flow of comedy gold.
@ likewise: that's about the same level as mocking someone for their skin color or their sexual preference-utterly and totally rude even if it's "just a joke."
Regards,
Alan Tomlinson
Scroll down his dockets, and you might notice he sued Dre, and Eminem. What do you wanna bet it's for "stealing his flow"?
Wow, I don't even know where to start. This whole thing makes me think of the movie "Idiocracy". Also, why can't wannabe jack-offs like this guy use a goddamn period when they type? The whole thing is one big moron run-on sentence.
The funniest part is that he offers to let you pay him a million bucks like he is doing you a favor! I bet in his tiny, stunted mind he really believes he is.
I'm a bit late to the show here but WOW. Diamond Dave 2013!!!!
So much fun to be had fucking around with this guy next time you're bored.
Maybe you can work out a payment plan with him that utilizes the backwards logic that you owe him a million dollars all from what started as him stealing from you $49 at a time.
And I would love to see a legal brief written in his style. Talk about eternal bathroom reader.
Wow, he seriously thinks he'll even get a lawyer to take a case for this? He's deluded.
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