Tales from the depths of customer support, Rd. 2 (Fight!)

Okay, I know I said in the last go-round that I wouldn’t actually put e-mails up from customers, but this is too odd/good to pass up. Plus, judging from the tenor, it’s incredibly unlikely the customer in question reads this blog. Anyways, the wife and I went up to Portland today, and when I got back, sitting in the queue was this:

_Witch one of your items
Is good for changing your Voice and also djing because I like to sound crazy on a track I want my voice to sound very crazy I did find the right software yet
Can you please call me on my cell #XXX-XXX-XXXX
Ps the best for my voice to change it thank you very much

_Now, this was amusing enough in and of itself. My first impulse was to hit the “Delete” key, since I knew where this was going, but that’s just not right. So, instead, I thought a little feeler would be safe. I replied:

You want to look at Discord 2. It can do crazy voice effects.

So, about ten minutes later, I get the following:

_How can I get it and can it work with pro tool
And what crazy voice effect it has

_Okay. Ummmm. Where do I go with that? I thought it best to nip this right in the bud, because I’m a helpful person (as many of you know that have written the AD or AI contact lines with obtuse/obscure questions, and been rewarded with a 4K missive on some topic or another) but, well, you have to draw the line. So I send back:

I’m sorry, but our products don’t work with ProTools.

Now, I know that isn’t strictly true, but the other half of the company thought it would be mean to sick him on Angus and FXpansion, and, well, you know. Anyways, a couple minutes later, I’m blessed with the following:

Can I use them on a pc
And how do I use it

Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, give me strength. I’m afraid to reply to that one, and it is 8:00pm on Saturday, after all. Where would you go with that?